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    Dairy Foods Columnists

    Celebrate the holidays with dairy processors

    By James Carper
    December 6, 2014
    Tis the season to be jolly.
    Deck the halls with boughs of holly.
    Outside the stores, the bell ringers ring
    While inside we hear the registers’ cha-ching.
     
    Now in this space best wishes I bring
    To dairy’s brightest lights. It’s of thee I sing.
     
    I roamed o’er the States to visit processors of dairy
    Drinking milk, eating cheese always makes me merry.
    But ice cream, what a product, that’s really the ticket.
    In cones, in cups and from scrounds did I lick it.
     
    I watched Rich and Heather Draper with Tom Jackson fill up tubs
    In Florida where they operate The Ice Cream Club.
    Then to Ohio to Velvet Ice Cream. It’s run by three sisters 
    (Luconda, Joanne and André) plus dad Joe, the lone mister.
     
    Velvet reached 100 years. Embroider that on a pillow.
    As did Kemps of St. Paul, ain’t that right Rachel Kyllo?
    Greg Kurr says “it’s the cows” that makes Kemps so good.
    You’ll find its dairy products in any Midwest neighborhood.
     
    Two cheesemakers from the Golden State opened their doors to me.
    I thank Michael Gallo for his hospitality. 
    Joseph Gallo Farms is famed for its sustainability.
    “Reduce, re-use, recycle” is their practice, I see.
     
    Central Valley Cheese is owned by Anto Baghdassarian.
    For the return flight home I stuffed samples into my carry-on. 
    He makes yogurt and feta and farmer cheeses.
    For any ethnic group, Anto makes a flavor that pleases.
     
    After speaking with Eric Brunelle of Agropur
    Heavy snow blew in. I thought, “I’m stranded, that’s for sure.”
    But the plane did take off and up into the air I flew
    While I transcribed my notes about the maker of Dyna Moo.
     
    You know Jimmy Buffett sang of looking for his lost shaker.
    But did you remember I wrote about Muller and Quaker?
    The PepsiCo joint venture makes yogurt, it’s top rate.
    Being without salt for margaritas was Buffett’s complaint.
     
     
    Speaking of Quaker, it’s a true friend of dairy.
    (Did you know it calls the oatmeal man “Larry”?)
    Slow cook the cereal with milk, don’t be rash.
    That’s how the Quaker Man came by his milk moustache.
     
    But MilkPEP finally stopped its long-time facial hair campaigns
    And a new CEO, Julia Kadison, took up the reins.
    The group’s message today is protein gives power
    If the ads succeed as planned, then milk sales will flower.
     
    We recognized the industry’s best and asked for your help.
    You chose Smith Bros. Farms the Plant of the Year, not Yelp!.
    We honored Dairy Farmers of America because of its exports
    The farmer-owned co-op stands above its cohorts.
    The Dannon Co. is Dairy Processor of the year for 2014.
    Turn to page 34 and you’ll see what I mean.
     
    Here’s holiday wishes to those leading the associations.
    They lobby Capitol Hill for favorable interpretations
    Of rules and regs and laws that pass
    That otherwise would be a real pain in the (rear).
    As for dairy’s agenda in the coming New Year
    IDFA’s Connie Tipton resolves to undo milk marketing orders
    While at USDEC, Tom Suber continues to help dairy exporters.
    Tom Gallagher, who heads Dairy Management Inc.,
    Will press on in his search to find new milk drinkers I think.
     
    I’ve run out of space, no more rhymes can I bend.
    I thank you dear readers for staying to the end.
    Keeping you engaged and amused is my editorial reason,
    Now I wish you peace, love and joy in the holiday season
    KEYWORDS: dairy processor news

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    Jim Carper is the former editor-in-chief of Dairy Foods.

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