David Letterman’s last show is tonight. In his honor, I present “The Top 10 Indications Your Dairy Product Is A Hit.”
10. For an album cover, trumpeter Herb Alpert chose to cover a model in whipped cream, not Ragu.
9. To calm his fear of mice, Curly beseeches Moe and Larry for “the cheese.”
8. Moustaches are made of milk, not lite beer.
7. A rat’s reward for finding its way through a maze is cheese.
6. We are all screaming for ice cream, not tapioca.
5. Little Miss Muffett chooses curds and whey over surf and turf.
4. Hollywood starlets don’t take orange juice baths.
3. It’s macaroni and cheese, not macaroni and Pringles.
2. Butter coffee.
And the No. 1 Indication Your Dairy Product Is A Hit:
1. Despite the possibility of deadly listeria, people are bidding for Blue Bell ice cream on eBay.